I fucking hate australia day for a lot of reasons & 2 of them are personal - 2010: “hey emily want to come to an australia day party?” “I tried to commit suicide two days ago I don’t think I’ll be allowed out sorry” 2012: Warsaw, horror. there’s a photo of us in the bar a few hours before I lose my memory. I look so happy
rape tw, ptsd cw
I have fridays off so it feels like the weekend and I get so confused when people are up and going to classes in the morning.. best timetable though, I can finish all my readings for the week on friday and then start next week’s on the real weekend!
everywhere I go no matter what media I consume & in my head I am confronted by details of the traumatic event that has been tearing me apart for over two years & I have mental health professionals telling me I’m not stable enough to have therapy for this yet and that we can’t cover it in our sessions & my psychologist tells me I’m “high functioning” but what do I have to do to get help for this?? I want to help the girl I was so bad, I want to do something about this for the girl sobbing in the arms of a nurse in a hospital in Warsaw in the middle of winter
I need like $500 so I can get my belly re-pierced, get my other nipple pierced, and buy all new clothes bc none of mine fit me anymore
getting back into running has been really hard for me. I was an athlete in high school, for years it was everything to me. but by the time I turned 17 I was so worn out from depression, ed, injuries, and trying to achieve at school that I couldn’t even turn up to training, I just dropped it. Trying to reconnect with it has been hard, I’ve tried many times over the past three years but it hurt so much to feel my body struggle with something that used to come so naturally to me. & working my way to this level has taken me months but I’m finally feeling strong when I run again, like I can push myself harder and I can achieve goals I set for myself. I’m so happy